Practical Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissistic, Borderline or Difficult Mother
Your phone rings and its Mom!
Do you pick up knowing exactly what to say or do you let it go to voicemail feeling irritated and like a bad person for avoiding your mother?
Or you’ve recently had a blow-up with mom.
Are you holding your breath…waiting for the fallout. What now?
You aren’t really sure what to do or how to do it.
All you know is…you can’t go on this way. Something has to give.
What if you knew exactly what to say and how to say it?
What if you could be 100% confident that you weren’t the problem:
you could see through her irrational behavior
you knew what made her tick
you wouldn’t take it personally
you wouldn’t fall for her guilt trips.
What if you could stop the crazy, and take back your time and energy?
What if you could get off the emotional roller coaster and into the driver’s seat of your life?
Let me ask you a question. How much time and energy have you given your Mother already?
The wasted emotional energy
The headspace planning your last exchange
The time spent in endless arguments pleading your case, trying to get her to understand your position…
[Ask your partner or best friend if you don't know.]
Think back to the last five years (or even the last 5 minutes)…how much time do you spend on Mom and her problems or dealing with her problematic behavior?
Ask me how I know :)
You could have written that novel, cured cancer, or at very least… had a moment’s peace.
How great would it be if you could have even half of that time back?
I’ll tell you something; you won’t get there by waiting for her to change.
What are the chances she will wake up one day and realize how right you were all along .. and how awful she has treated you?
Nope. Not gonna happen in this lifetime.
Sooooo, if you aren’t willing to wait it out, sacrifice your time, energy, and happiness…
You’ve come to the right place.
I’ve got you covered.
After over 30 years of helping daughters of difficult mothers in psychotherapy, coaching, and online, I’ve summarized a practical guide for you if you want to-
See what drives your mother’s behavior so you don’t take it personally.
Avoid and/or shut down arguments you can’t win.
Set boundaries you can stick to.
Say no without feeling guilty.
Know you aren’t crazy, and you’re not the problem.
Realize it’s not your job to take care of her.
Be kind without being a conflict-avoidant doormat.
Quit giving her second chances; she doesn’t deserve.
Avoid getting reeled back in with guilt trips.
I give you
An in-depth understanding of the psychology behind your mother’s dysfunction to know why it wasn’t you after all.
A step-by-step system for setting boundaries that set you up for success
Sample scripts for what to say and how to say it to take control of the communications
Mindset exercises to reset your childhood programming to shift from vulnerable child to empowered adult woman
You need tools, tactics, and techniques … all practical strategies for dealing with your difficult mother.
"She helped me figure out things about myself that have bothered me for years"
Learn the truth about why your mother is so critical, needy, intrusive, and self-centered.
See how a Difficult/Narcissistic/Borderline mother uses her children to get her needs met.
Find out what Mom is hiding from you (and herself).
Understand why you can’t fix Mom.
Spot 3 ways Mom programs you to take care of her.
Recognize the tell-tale signs of Narcissistic and Borderline Traits and the essential difference between them.
Learn why Mom’s behavior is not normal and not okay.
Expose the underlying psychological motivations that drive Mom’s hurtful behaviors ..so that you will know how to deal with it more effectively.
Learn how you have been set up to think you are the problem and how to reverse it.
Recognize the tricks your survival brain plays on you.
Uncover the 4 hidden unconscious agreements that trap you into putting mom’s needs ahead of your own.
Find out if your mother still has a hidden unconscious hold on you.
Rewrite the 4 unconscious agreements to escape the traps.
Determine how you have been programmed to feel lesser, guilty, doubtful, and/or ashamed… so you will know why it’s not your fault.
Discover the real reason you can’t win.
Put into action 3 plans to nullify Mom’s attempts to put you down.
Uncover 3 sneaky ways Mom makes you feel lesser and keeps you under her thumb.
Learn a technique for deflecting Mom’s criticisms so they don’t stick.
Unlearn the 3 reflexive habits that undermine your power.
Understand why it is impossible to please Mom… so you can let go of (needlessly) working for her approval or believing her criticisms.
Learn where your overblown sense of guilt comes from.
Discover how you were programmed to feel guilty for the normal longing to grow up and away.
Stop letting guilt hold you hostage to your mother’s needs.
Figure out how to stop feeling responsible for your mother’s happiness.
Get off the guilt/resentment roller coaster with this one technique.
How to take care of yourself AND feel like a good person.
Answer these 4 questions to reveal if you are still under the spell of an unconscious agreement that keeps you feeling guilty.
Neutralize the excessive guilt so that you can set boundaries, stand up for yourself or say no, and… still feel like a good person.
Identify the secret leverage you have over mom… that she doesn’t want you to realize.
Learn this straightforward tactic to shift the power balance in your favor.
Become aware of the 3 ways you signal your submissiveness without even knowing it.
Command respect from Mom with this one tactic.
How to stop mom in her tracks the next time she tries to bully you.
Learn to stand up to mom… so that you can be self-confident and in control.
Implement the 4-step guide to set boundaries you can stick to.
Unpack 3 reasons setting a boundary can feel wrong when you know it’s the right thing to do.
Pinpoint the essential difference between a relational and a power boundary and when to use each.
Avoid these 3 common pitfalls when setting a boundary.
Learn the trauma responses that give away your power and how to counter them.
Interrupt the conditioned impulse to be obedient with this simple technique.
Stop feeling run over, intruded upon, and bullied with this fool-proof method for setting boundaries… so that you can take charge of your life.
See-through to the real reason Mom gaslights you.
Deconstruct the 6 types of gaslighting and see how each type attempts to discredit and confuse you.
Prepare with specific strategies for shutting down each type of gaslighting.
Identify what separates a healthy disagreement from gaslighting and why it matters.
Disarm the gaslighter with these empowering comebacks that are polite but firm.
Adopt this mindset that makes you gaslight-proof.
See the manipulation tactics in gaslighting for what they are… so that you won’t fall for them.
Learn this step-by-step method for figuring out what level of contact is best for you.
Avoid this critical mistake most daughters make when going low or no contact.
Discover when going no contact is the best and only choice.
How to spot the psychological difference between an impossible mother from one who can change.
Discover 3 good reasons for taking a break in contact.
Learn this alternative to no contact that gives you more options.
Stop feeling at the mercy of your mother’s disordered behavior… and devise a plan for the level contact that protects and empowers you.
What if Mom wants you to let her back in?
What if she wants a second chance?
Or.... what if you can't find the words to tell her what she's done wrong and what she should do differently?