Sponsoring Person or Organization: Katherine K. Fabrizio M.A., Licensed Professional Counselor @ daughtersrising.info 919-280-3995
Contact person: Katherine Fabrizio
- Title of Program: Buried Alive: Treating the Adult Daughter of the Narcissistic Mother Trapped in the Role of the “Good Daughter”.
- Instructor- Katherine Fabrizio
- Date of each presentation: ongoing
- Location: Online
- Program Primarily Geared to:
( X ) Psychologists (x ) Social Workers ( ) Nurses (x ) Marriage & Family Therapists ( ) Dietitians
( ) Massachusetts Nursing Home Administrators (x) Licensed Professional Counselors
- Course Description-Which topics will be discussed?
What is involved in identifying and treating the daughter of the Narcissistic Mother who is trapped in the role of the “good daughter”.
What constitutes healthy mother/daughter separation versus an unhealthy separation from a Narcissistically defensed mother.
Participants will learn how each of the narcissistic mothers defenses result in problems for her developing daughter -across the life cycle.
You’ll come away with a deeper appreciation of:
The aspects of a healthy mother/daughter relationship
How the daughter’s development suffers as she adapts to her narcissistic mothers limitations.
1) Understand how early childhood wounds create Narcissistic defenses.
2) Learn to recognize how the Narcissistic mother looks to her daughter for validation instead of relying on her own internal resources.
3) Understand the effect of the Narcissistic mother’s defenses have on her daughter who is in the role of the good daughter.
4) Understand the central role loss plays in healthy mother/daughter relating.
The daughter of the narcissistic mother, in the role of the “Good daughter” is hyper-attuned to her mother’s needs. Because of this attunement, she buries her own needs for her mother’s sake. Understandably, the daughter represses her needs and feelings.
Sadly, when the “Good Daughter” of the narcissistically defended mother needs support from mom regarding loss, disappointment, or struggle, she may find that mom has little to give.
Mom isn’t evil, although her actions are frequently destructive. Simply put, a mother who is narcissistically injured is consumed with preserving and replenishing her impoverished sense of self rather than giving her daughter what she needs emotionally.
Mom’s emotional tank is empty. Her narcissistic defenses mean mom is forever in a relentless pursuit of the emotional supplies she did not get during pivotal times in her own development.
Additionally, mom may feel the need to disguise her neediness, which results in denial, defensiveness and manipulation of her daughter.When mom experiences deep insecurities, her parenting is slightly or profoundly impaired.
Because the daughter has subverted her own needs, she runs the danger of becoming disconnected from those needs. She becomes good at the expense of being real. Parts of her authentic self are buried alive.
Because she is disconnected from her authentic self, the “Good Daughter” of the narcissistic mother worries that she isn’t good enough and struggles with chronic feelings of self-doubt.
Therapist will gain an understanding of how the narcissistic mother’s defenses impact her daughter’s well-being.
Therapists will learn how many a good daughter learns that making mom happy is necessary for her own emotional survival. To this end, the Good daughter” subverts, suppresses and denies her own needs in recognizable ways.
Therapists will be able to recognize the pivotal developmental points of psychological separate and recognize what each look like both in health and dysfunction.
Therapists will learn therapeutic techniques to engage the buried aspects of good daughter and ways she can help her build confidence.
Objectives-What are the teaching goals?
Workshop attendees will be able to:
- Understand why a daughter’s attunement to her mother makes her especially vulnerable to her mother’s narcissistic defenses.
- Explain how D.W. Winnicot’s “Good Enough Mothering” is better than perfect mothering.
- Describe the role of healthy defenses and unhealthy defenses.
- Understand how loss is negotiated in normal and abnormal mother/daughter relationship.
- Explain how authenticity, trust, and self-esteem are needed components in order to facilitate the repair process in the healthy mother/daughter relationship.
- Differentiate between independence and pseudo-independence in the Good Daughter’s attempts at separation.
- Instructional Methodology
( x ) Lecture( ) Case Presentation( ) Other (Specify) Interactive exercises
( x) Audio/Visual( ) Discussion Groups( x) On-line presentation
Payson, Eleanor D. (2009) The Wizard of Oz & Other Narcissists Royal Oak, Michigan Julian Day PublicationsMiller, Alice (1997) The Drama of the Gifted Child Revised edition, New York, N.Y. Basic Books- Division of Harper Collins Publishers, Inc.
Lerner, Harriet (1985) The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide To Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationship New York, N. Y. Harper & Roy Publishers, Inc.Bettie, Melody (1987) Codependent No More :How to Stop Controlling Others & Start Caring For Yourself New York, N.Y. Harper/Hazelden
Brown, W. Nina (2008) Children of the Self –Absorbed A Grown-Ups Guide To Getting Over Narcissistic Parents Oakland, CA New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
McBride, Karl (2008) Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers New York, N.Y. Free Press- A Division of Simon & Shuster
- 2 hours of Video Course Material. 2 Ce’s
Address all grievances to Katherine Fabrizio @ Katherinefabrizio@daughtersrising.info
629 Oberlin Road
Raleigh N.C. 27605